Part 3: "No one’s ever asked me that."

(before you read: this part includes sexual abuse)

- What did you do when you used to work? You seem to have a very good grasp of the law, so I’m just curious.

- Interesting you said that. I do care about justice, but I didn’t have very good jobs. I didn’t feel confident about myself.

- How so?

- I actually didn’t finish 10th grade because of trauma, but I did go to college. I had to take the GED test, and I think I got a good grade so they accepted me.

- What trauma did you have?

- So I was the youngest of four siblings. When I was young, my oldest brother molested me. I told my parents but they didn’t do anything about it. 

- That’s… How old were you at that time?

- I think 12? He was 17… right, 5 years older than me. I then talked to my sister and learned that it happened to her as well. She also told our parents, and the sad thing is that they didn’t do anything about it, either. But I think we coped with it differently. My sister, I think, just wanted to remove herself from it all, so she went away.

- What about your other sibling? You said there were four of you?

- Oh, yes. I had another older brother. He’s got some real anger issues… You know, he used to punch me right in the face.

- I’m so sorry this all happened to you. 

- No, I usually don’t talk about it with anyone. These are stories that not even my children would know. I think there was one point when my son told me, “Mom, I don’t want to hear about it.” I think it got to him. Actually, it feels like it’s been forever since I talked about it with someone.  

- I can understand. He cared about you, it must have been difficult for him too. What happened to your oldest brother since then?

- He was killed in a fire at his friend’s party. I think they fell asleep in the friend’s house before the fire started. He was 28 at that time. 

- Wow… how did you feel when you found out?

- You know, that’s such a good question. No one’s ever asked me that. That’s such a good question.

- I’m guessing mixed feelings…?

- Yeah, it was. You’re right. Of course none of us wanted it to happen to him. It was tough. But yes, in a way, there was a part of me that felt… relieved.

- Thank you for trusting me. I can help you share your stories if you’re okay with it. I believe someone out there will know they’re not alone when your stories touch them. You have a beautiful soul and I truly admire that.

- Yes, you can. You make me feel seen, so thank you… Oh, let me introduce you to some people. I’d love for you guys to know each other. I celebrated my 65th birthday here.