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"Social media gives me anxiety"


"Social media gives me anxiety.


Only those who are closest to me would know this. 


I have to ask myself again and again why I feel that way. It’s not that I feel FOMO from seeing other people’s posts, but it turned out to be because I feel like I’m speaking my native language in a foreign land. Some might say, then “Why don’t you learn their language and adapt to it?” I’ve been pondering on this for years, battling myself over my answer to that question, even just inside my head. 


Instead of jumping right to the conclusion that, “Yes, I should”; I keep finding myself pausing at the thought “Yes I can learn the language and adapt to it, but do I really want to?”


There are certain formulas that make it work on social media to go viral, each platform is slightly different, but generally they start with a hook. It seems like we’re flattening our culture because everyone tries to optimize for the algorithms, ending up having the same template of self expression and content creation. 


Some people develop an inflated sense of ego based on how many followers they have. Some constantly battle with a sense of self-worth like me. 


I enjoy much more the connections I build with people who gravitate towards me because they understand my soul language. 


But do we avoid the system altogether, go along with it, or do we want to be the change we want to see in the system?


Are we trend followers or originality pursuers?


It’s not hard to figure out what works.

It’s hard to execute in a way that works.

It’s even harder to figure out what works best for you.


What if we treated social media as a form of art—a place where visiting someone’s profile feels like stepping into their personal museum, where every post is an art piece telling its own unique story?"


[April 29, 2024]


——



It’s one of the many notes I never finished nor published, but for years, I’ve been trying to figure out my relationship with social media. On one hand, it used to fill me with anxiety; on the other, I couldn’t resist the urge to share. Instead of shutting it down, I made a conscious decision to face it head-on and turn myself into an experiment.


For every dose of inspiration I gained from social media, I absorbed an equal measure of anxiety. I felt conflicted by how it often creates the illusion that if something isn’t posted, it doesn’t exist. This perception seeps into the news, societal issues, and even how we promote beauty, success, and happiness, often equating worth with performative metrics. Everything feels optimized for emotional triggers, making things seem either far better or far worse than they really are.


“Why can’t I just be like everyone else?” I constantly asked myself this question, until I realized my resistance to certain aspects of social media wasn’t random—it was instinctive. Part of me naturally rejected what was already trendy, thinking, “There are enough people doing this; I don’t need to add to the noise.” Another part of me felt as though I was trying to protect myself from assimilation or anything that felt superficial or carried low-vibration energy.


I’ve always gravitated toward uncharted waters—they make me feel alive.



There are countless thoughts swirling in my mind. While I’ve tried to curate what I share versus what I keep private, social media has never been just a tool for me. It became a coping mechanism—a way to balance the overwhelming “downloads” in my head. If my mind were a phone, posting felt like uploading to the cloud to free up space.


For years, this system worked—until it didn’t. The speed of my “uploads” couldn’t keep up with the flood of “downloads,” and I reached a point where I could no longer avoid addressing it.


One of the changes I’m most proud of from last year is transforming my relationship with social media, and genuinely, I don’t miss it when I step away. What I do miss is the act of sharing—the potential to help someone on their journey or simply normalize the hidden aspects of life we often leave unspoken—but even that no longer feels like a coping mechanism. I’ve noticed my urge to share has shifted from being reactive to deliberate. It took time, but I now feel fully in control of what I share, when, where, and how. Sometimes social media is the answer; sometimes it’s not. And that transformation has brought me inner peace.



It’s true that who we are is shaped by the people closest to us, but it’s equally true that what we consume significantly influences who we’re becoming. There’s an entire world of profound conversations and connections beyond social media, and I’m grateful to be immersed in deeply cultivated relationships and widely authentic experiences.


Who knows, maybe something new will emerge soon 🙃



Yorumlar


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