15 years of building the American dream

Today marks exactly 15 years since my first day in the US. I’ve been contemplating a lot lately… and who would have known, I’d receive my permanent residency in the same year America celebrates its 250th anniversary (!) 

Gosh, the moment it arrived couldn’t have been more unexpected, almost magical in a way I couldn’t have imagined myself.

Five years ago, I reflected on a decade of chasing the American dream as a 17-year-old girl who came from Vietnam knowing absolutely no one, somehow booked the wrong arrival date, sorted out her first night alone in a hotel because her ego was too big to admit she had messed up, and gained 17 pounds in just her first four months. The list of twists and turns has kept going ever since.

Five years later, I still recognize that girl. But I understand her very differently.

I came here wanting to be independent and free, only to discover that one of the greatest lessons in maturity is learning when not to do everything alone. I learned how to ask for help, lean on others without seeing it as weakness, and perhaps hardest for someone who has always found giving much easier, how to receive.

Funny enough, the country so famously known for individualism is also the country that taught me so much about community.

Except that the woman I became was no longer entirely the girl who first arrived.

Fifteen years shaped me in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. It feels like stretch marks. Like… you stretch, it hurts, you heal, then life stretches you again. Eventually, your skin learns how to expand. The stretching doesn’t stop, but you just become more adaptable and capable of holding what once felt impossible.

The moment I received my green card was when I needed it most without realizing it, though it also came when I least expected it. It happened when I had started seriously questioning whether any dream could justify all the tradeoffs, uncertainty, waiting, adapting, and starting over.

Was it worth it?

Looking back now… yes. 

But it’s not because hardship magically becomes good when something good comes out of it. It’s because there’s simply no separating my soul from who I am today, and who I am today from everything I had to evolve into while finding my way here.

There’s a kind of wisdom no textbook can teach you and resilience no MasterClass can sell you. Sometimes life simply hands you a problem and says, “Go figure it out, now!”

I spent so much of my younger life learning how to carry more. Now I’m learning that growth can also mean knowing what I no longer need to carry. I learned how to give, then how to receive. How to stand on my own, then how to lean on others. How to stand up for others, then how to speak up for myself. How to blaze a path for myself, then how to help others walk their own.

I no longer feel the need to keep proving myself when the journey’s become proof itself. Instead of trying to fit into places where I don’t belong, I learned to build my own community of people.

At 10 years, I thought a lot about chasing the dream.

At 15, I think more about what I’m here to serve.

And I know this story is not mine alone. So many of us came to America hoping to build something for ourselves, all while pouring ourselves into building a stronger America. We create opportunities, drive the economy, support our communities, bring ideas shaped by various corners of the world, enrich the country with cultures of all kinds, and invest ourselves in building a future that serves far more than our own dreams.

The American dream was never a one-way exchange. We become part of this country not simply by living here, but by living it.

Today, I’m grateful for everything that happened, including the moments I found it hard to feel grateful while they were happening… especially those moments. And of course, for everyone who’s crossed paths with me or taken part in this rollercoaster ride of my life.

Fifteen years later, I still want to build more, share more, give more, love more. But I also know the chapter I’m turning is about learning to receive more, rest more, and embrace being enough without constantly needing to become more.

I’ve been asked many times if I’ve thought about writing a book… who knows, maybe one day I will. Possibly with a few more letters than the ones I sketched out 15 years ago 🤪