Alexa, play The Spectre by Alan Walker 🪩
If there were a question about the overarching theme of this year for me, the answer would be identity crisis.
Have you experienced it before?
It’s not the first time for me, but it hits different this year.
Imagine you’re a model at a runway show, constantly being dressed in multiple outfits, styled with hair and makeup completely different from your usual look. You may or may not like these transformations, but you know they’re not your everyday style. You’re meant to wear them because you’re in the show. They're chosen for you.
That’s what identity crisis feels like—not being sure if you even have a defined style at all after trying on so many that didn’t feel like “you” at first. And still, you get on the stage, doing your best catwalk even when the slingback heels barely hug your ankles.
As disorienting as it seems, the gift you receive in return is priceless. You realize identity isn’t a fixed asset but a constantly evolving one—just like your style. You learn to cultivate empathy and compassion, not only for yourself but for others, because you’ve now walked in those shoes you never thought you would.
While reflecting on this today, I found a blog post I wrote four years ago about how who we are isn’t to be found but to be created. It made me giggle. The 14-year-old Zip was… cute. The 27-year-old Zip must have thought she nailed it.
And here she is again, the 31-year-old Zip pondering the old question yet arriving at a new answer. Who knows, maybe a year from now I’ll change it again. But that’s the beauty of it—being mutable helps us adjust to any situation and embrace the ebb and flow of life. It allows us to discover the multitudes of who we are.
Am I happy with who I am right now? This question feels much more important to me. I’ve learned to reflect on what I gravitate towards, and those who gravitate towards me. As we grow, the relationships around us often mirror that transformation and meet us where we are.
It all begins with ourselves, but in a way, we learn about who we are through what we see in others.
If that thought puts a smile on my face, then yes—I’m happy with this version of me 🙂
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